What Is A Bridal Shower?
What is a bridal shower? Bridal showers are typically given by friends or family members before a wedding. Sometimes the bride may also host a bridal shower for herself and her attendants, though an even better alternative is to have each attendant give one for herself.
Bridal showers may be hosted close to the engagement period or shortly before the wedding day. A well-known saying among brides is that they should expect two bashes: one from their future spouse’s relatives and another from those on their side of the aisle.
When it comes to etiquette, there aren’t many rules as to who can hold a bridal shower or how you can throw one—aside from inviting only those people you’d want to celebrate with you. The main guideline is just not to offend the bride’s mother.
The term bridal shower likely arose from an American tradition of celebrating a bride-to-be with a luncheon that was originally hosted by her mother and then later, in our modern era, taken over by friends and family members. The idea is to celebrate the many gifts and blessings you’ll receive in the future months leading up to your marriage.
However, this practice doesn’t have to be limited to just women: couples may host bridal showers together although it’s more common for females within the couple (i.e., two girlfriends) to do so separately for one another.
Individuals such as mothers of either side do not typically host or participate in these celebrations; instead, they are given their bridal showers.
While this article will discuss how to find the right date, location and guest list for a bridal shower celebration, it’s important to keep in mind that mother of the bride or groom parties are more common than one might think.
Bridal Shower Location
Deciding upon where to host your bridal shower can be tricky enough with just you and your fiancee trying to figure out what works best without having to consider anyone else’s schedule, preferences and interests.
Here are some things you want to take into consideration while planning:
-Think about who is hosting (i.e., where do they live?)
-What days of the week work best for everyone? -Who all is invited (keeping in mind some guests will be out of state)?
-Are you & your fiancee having an engagement party (which can shorten the guestlist for the bridal shower)?
-What time is best?
Bridal Shower Invitations
Once you’ve nailed down a date, it’s time to send out invitations. The traditional way is to invite your guests by mail; however, with advancements in technology, this isn’t always necessary especially when all of your friends and family are within immediate contact given today’s social media culture.
You could even consider sending text messages or emails as long as they act as formal invitations. Keep in mind that email invitations are acceptable only if you receive express written consent from all invited parties.
The following rules apply to either online or offline invitations:
-Give sufficient notice (at least 8 to 10 weeks is standard but you should never be put in the position where you need to ask for RSVPs). -Keep your guest list small (ideally, between 10 and 15 people). -Never include the names of guests who are not invited.
-Stick with neutral colours like white, grey or ecru (avoid pastels since they’re not as formal), say no to logos and stick with traditional fonts like Times New Roman. Here’s a great article by The Knot on choosing wedding invitations.
If you want to go for something slightly less formal than paper invites there are plenty of other options depending on how much time and money you can spare. For example, some brides may prefer to print invitations on matching paper, collect RSVPs via an online form and send their guests updates with links to more information about the celebration.
If you’re having a smaller event with only close friends or family members then consider using something like Evite or Paperless Post. You can even look into Potluck apps where everyone contributes food recipes with RSVPs coming in by way of names listed next to dishes they are bringing.
Bridal Shower Etiquette
There are certain etiquette rules that almost every bridal shower abides by including but not limited to:
-The couple should never be tasked with hosting the event themselves (i.e., it’s always better when another relative, friend or partner hosts the party).
-The couple should personally send out invitations (or at least, RSVPs) to every guest.
-Guests are expected to give gifts (i.e., cash or check wrapped in white tissue paper placed inside an envelope; no gift cards).
-Everyone is encouraged to bring a small token of appreciation for the bride-to-be (i.e., decorating theme candles, soaps, spa baskets or wine).
How To Choose The Perfect Bridal Shower Theme
As far as selecting a bridal shower theme it’s important not to go too overboard which can easily be done given today’s consumerist culture where even one single purchase may meet the requirement of being considered “a gift.” Stick with something classy and timeless to avoid coming off as tacky or unoriginal.
Your theme can be anything you choose it just needs to hold a special significance that both you and your fiancee agree upon.
Here are some common bridal shower themes:
-Something bridal (i.e., white decor, wedding gowns, etc.).
-Something bookish (i.e., tea parties with trivia about the couple’s favourite novels).
-A travel-themed party where guests bring maps of their hometowns or countries they’ve travelled to for inspiration for future trips they may take together as a couple.
-All things Parisian since most people enjoy French culture whether it be art, wine, food or fashion; here’s another great article on Parisian themed bridal showers by The Knot.
-Something musical (i.e., a karaoke machine, sheet music, etc.).
-A spa party with free massages and facial treatments for the bride to be.